I have decided that it is time to take better care of myself... so from now on I will be focusing more on my health.
Luckily for me, after some careful research, I realized how easy this is going to be for me. Seriously, I may end up being one of the healthiest people I know.
Apparently my massive consumption of coffee isn't going to be the death of me after all... unless I consume a lethal dose of the stuff, and that would take about 100 cups of strong coffee in succession (about 10 grams of caffeine!). So I'm pretty sure I'm safe... at least for today.
Did You Know?
Advertisements for coffee in London in 1657 claimed that the beverage was a cure for gout, scurvy & other ills.
Well, they might not have altogether wrong...
According to the Mayo Clinic: Drinking 2-4 cups of coffee daily may lower the risk of colon cancer by 25%. I don't know about you, but I'm preventing cancer every time my morning Kona kicks in! Also, it lowers the risk of gallstones by 45%, Parkinson's Disease (50-80%) & cirrhosis of the liver by 80%. It can even reduce the incidence of asthma by 25%! Now I don't feel so bad about all the alcohol I've consumed in the last few weeks. I was so worried about my liver, but now... hell... I've taken preventative measures to protect it without straying from my usual routine. How cool is that?!
Having a asthma attack? Have a cup of Kenya blend!
I think from now on, I will enlighten all of my loved ones with my little random coffee facts! It's not like I'll be getting sleep anytime soon!
I never did find out if Juan Valdez is single...
Monday, October 23, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Blood Sucking Fuckers!
There are things in life that you know, no matter how long you live, will continue to piss you off. You hate them and don't care who knows it. The list is usually pretty average and can span from the mild or mundane, like lettuce... Or the extreme or unusual like: I hate every over the top excited person who ever jumped on a couch and butt-fucked a midget! Well, in light of the past weekend, I feel the need to vent about something that I have hated since my very first year at sleep away camp at the age of 6! No, it's not Uncle Crackhead, and it's not that emotionally unavailable asshole I was crazy about... At one point I actually liked them!
This is something way more annoying, evil and downright sinister... MOSQUITOES!
Yes folks... Mosquitoes.
Now I know that no one LIKES these little blood thirsty bitches, but my hatred of them is a little beyond the average persons annoyances. The itching get so severe on me that it can wake me from sleep for a scratch attack of biblical proportions. So in honor of those blood sucking fuckers, here is my newest list:
10 WORST PLACES TO HAVE MOSQUITO BITES!
10. The Neck. For some reason every time I see a person scratching their neck a lot, it reminds me of a bum I used to pass on the subway from time to time. He smelled terrible, scratched a lot, and used to scare the hell out of me.
9. Back of the Thighs. Picture it, you're sitting down in a public place and trying to coyly lift you leg and scratch... mmm yeah.
8. Your Back. A typical itching on your back is bad enough. It's wonderful when someone is nice enough to help you out. But if you ask them to scratch your back repeatedly, don't you think at some point they will get a bit wierded out and start to question if whatever is itching you is contagious?
7. Your Ass. Is it ever nice to see someone walking around scratching their ass? Especially if the bite occurs near the crack of your ass!
6. Your Ankles. Ever try to scratch your ankles while driving or better yet, while on a treadmill? Think about it.
5. Toes. Even worse then the ankles. Last week while at a red light I actually took my sneakers and socks off just to get some relief. I had to sit outside of the gym in my car having a scratch-fest before I could start my work out. Anyone who saw me probably thinks I have athletes foot now! And it hurts, not just itches. Plus my usually cute feet & toes looked strange with that one red, puffy toe.
4. Face. Anywhere on your face is terrible, especially if you happen to be a vain, narcissistic, snob like I am. I had one on my lip once, I was more dramatically devastated than Marcia Brady getting hit in the face with a football! But I have to say, the worse place on your face to get one is:
3. Eyelid! Yes, I've had one on my eyelid. I came back from camp one year looking like I had gone a few rounds with Tyson. It was awful.
2. Boobs! I currently have 4 mosquito bites on my right tit. Those are some freaky ass bugs! The worst one I ever had was right next to my nipple. I couldn't scratch it as hard as I wanted for fear that I would cause massive damage to my poor nipple.
and the #1 worst place to get a mosquito bite is...
1. NACHA... you know, it's nacha pudenda and it's nacha ass! That's right folks, a perineum bite!! Try reaching that one with all your clothes on discreetly at work! I wish I could say I was fucking in the woods so I may have deserved such a fate. But I wasn't. I just can't sleep with underwear on and one of those BSFs was feeling a little friendly! It's like it waited for the right moment, when I would roll over and kick the covers off then prop a leg up.
I hate bugs!
This is something way more annoying, evil and downright sinister... MOSQUITOES!
Yes folks... Mosquitoes.
Now I know that no one LIKES these little blood thirsty bitches, but my hatred of them is a little beyond the average persons annoyances. The itching get so severe on me that it can wake me from sleep for a scratch attack of biblical proportions. So in honor of those blood sucking fuckers, here is my newest list:
10 WORST PLACES TO HAVE MOSQUITO BITES!
10. The Neck. For some reason every time I see a person scratching their neck a lot, it reminds me of a bum I used to pass on the subway from time to time. He smelled terrible, scratched a lot, and used to scare the hell out of me.
9. Back of the Thighs. Picture it, you're sitting down in a public place and trying to coyly lift you leg and scratch... mmm yeah.
8. Your Back. A typical itching on your back is bad enough. It's wonderful when someone is nice enough to help you out. But if you ask them to scratch your back repeatedly, don't you think at some point they will get a bit wierded out and start to question if whatever is itching you is contagious?
7. Your Ass. Is it ever nice to see someone walking around scratching their ass? Especially if the bite occurs near the crack of your ass!
6. Your Ankles. Ever try to scratch your ankles while driving or better yet, while on a treadmill? Think about it.
5. Toes. Even worse then the ankles. Last week while at a red light I actually took my sneakers and socks off just to get some relief. I had to sit outside of the gym in my car having a scratch-fest before I could start my work out. Anyone who saw me probably thinks I have athletes foot now! And it hurts, not just itches. Plus my usually cute feet & toes looked strange with that one red, puffy toe.
4. Face. Anywhere on your face is terrible, especially if you happen to be a vain, narcissistic, snob like I am. I had one on my lip once, I was more dramatically devastated than Marcia Brady getting hit in the face with a football! But I have to say, the worse place on your face to get one is:
3. Eyelid! Yes, I've had one on my eyelid. I came back from camp one year looking like I had gone a few rounds with Tyson. It was awful.
2. Boobs! I currently have 4 mosquito bites on my right tit. Those are some freaky ass bugs! The worst one I ever had was right next to my nipple. I couldn't scratch it as hard as I wanted for fear that I would cause massive damage to my poor nipple.
and the #1 worst place to get a mosquito bite is...
1. NACHA... you know, it's nacha pudenda and it's nacha ass! That's right folks, a perineum bite!! Try reaching that one with all your clothes on discreetly at work! I wish I could say I was fucking in the woods so I may have deserved such a fate. But I wasn't. I just can't sleep with underwear on and one of those BSFs was feeling a little friendly! It's like it waited for the right moment, when I would roll over and kick the covers off then prop a leg up.
I hate bugs!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
The Baking Bitch!
Sorry for the domestic post guys… I’ll get back to the sexy stuff next week!
I, CaffeineDiva, am a Baking Bitch. I didn't give myself the title, but for now, I am claiming it. Let me explain. A few years ago I worked with a very cool guy who I became friends with and we use to joke around that if he ever came into a lot of money he was going to open a clothing store for big guys called "250+" and right next door he would open a bakery for me called the "The Baking Bitch" because, as he put it, "That bitch can bake! Seriously, that is one bakin’bitch!"
Well, years later I have a new group of friends that come to expect baked goods for birthdays or holiday festivities. Usually I don’t mind being Aunt Jemima for a day or two, but I have now realized that people are never satisfied.
This became apparent last week. See my brother came home after a long time away. (You know… “Away”). And before he came home he requested my “famous” Chocolate Rum Cake that I usually make once a year around the Christmas holiday. But since he was gone for Christmas (and his birthday), I was more than happy to oblige him.
I had been on a baking hiatus of sorts due to my lack of will power & trying to live a more healthy life. My Dr. informed me that my baking practices and diabetes weren’t a good combination, so I retired my trusty baking utensils and set off on a bake-less year. Now my brother is home and in the past week, I have made 2 cakes and 2 pans of baked macaroni & cheese. You may be thinking, what’s the problem? Well here is where I start my famous venting.
I now have random folks (in and out of the family) putting in requests for baked delights. Seriously, folks that I have only met once or twice are asking for all kinds of stuff! A friend of his remembers some cookies that I made 2 years ago, and wants me to make them again. Come on, it’s been 2 years, get over it! It’s not like he hasn’t had my number the whole time my brother has been away and couldn’t have called and asked then. He may have had a better chance of me saying yes… not this year, but last year I would have.
Then, some chick that I just met last week (once) asked for 2 different cakes, one for her and one for her “baby”. How ‘bout this, I’ll give you the recipe and you bake a cake for your man! What’s next, am I gonna have to fuck your man for you too! When I bake for people it’s a loving thing, so I have to care for them. Hell, the cookie request is for something I actually call Love Cookies! So they don’t get made for just anyone! The last request was to remake one of the cakes I had made that week. The problem with that is that the cake that I made was an accident that came out tasty. I can’t repeat that shit!
So here’s my solution. I'll just start giving out recipes and various baking secrets to anyone who asks. It’s not like I’m opening a business! I can only bake when the mood strikes me.
Frankly, if my man came home raving about some chick that could bake me out of house and home, I’d be a little upset. This means he would be fat trying everything I could make until he raved about me again! But that’s just my competitive need to win and be the best chick ever!
I, CaffeineDiva, am a Baking Bitch. I didn't give myself the title, but for now, I am claiming it. Let me explain. A few years ago I worked with a very cool guy who I became friends with and we use to joke around that if he ever came into a lot of money he was going to open a clothing store for big guys called "250+" and right next door he would open a bakery for me called the "The Baking Bitch" because, as he put it, "That bitch can bake! Seriously, that is one bakin’bitch!"
Well, years later I have a new group of friends that come to expect baked goods for birthdays or holiday festivities. Usually I don’t mind being Aunt Jemima for a day or two, but I have now realized that people are never satisfied.
This became apparent last week. See my brother came home after a long time away. (You know… “Away”). And before he came home he requested my “famous” Chocolate Rum Cake that I usually make once a year around the Christmas holiday. But since he was gone for Christmas (and his birthday), I was more than happy to oblige him.
I had been on a baking hiatus of sorts due to my lack of will power & trying to live a more healthy life. My Dr. informed me that my baking practices and diabetes weren’t a good combination, so I retired my trusty baking utensils and set off on a bake-less year. Now my brother is home and in the past week, I have made 2 cakes and 2 pans of baked macaroni & cheese. You may be thinking, what’s the problem? Well here is where I start my famous venting.
I now have random folks (in and out of the family) putting in requests for baked delights. Seriously, folks that I have only met once or twice are asking for all kinds of stuff! A friend of his remembers some cookies that I made 2 years ago, and wants me to make them again. Come on, it’s been 2 years, get over it! It’s not like he hasn’t had my number the whole time my brother has been away and couldn’t have called and asked then. He may have had a better chance of me saying yes… not this year, but last year I would have.
Then, some chick that I just met last week (once) asked for 2 different cakes, one for her and one for her “baby”. How ‘bout this, I’ll give you the recipe and you bake a cake for your man! What’s next, am I gonna have to fuck your man for you too! When I bake for people it’s a loving thing, so I have to care for them. Hell, the cookie request is for something I actually call Love Cookies! So they don’t get made for just anyone! The last request was to remake one of the cakes I had made that week. The problem with that is that the cake that I made was an accident that came out tasty. I can’t repeat that shit!
So here’s my solution. I'll just start giving out recipes and various baking secrets to anyone who asks. It’s not like I’m opening a business! I can only bake when the mood strikes me.
Frankly, if my man came home raving about some chick that could bake me out of house and home, I’d be a little upset. This means he would be fat trying everything I could make until he raved about me again! But that’s just my competitive need to win and be the best chick ever!
Friday, September 01, 2006
In My Own Little World... A Warning
I am a goddess... to a select group of people. To some folks, I am the craziest bitch that has ever walked the face of the earth. Then there are others that are constantly confused by my interesting mixture of psychotic charm, maternal warmth, and manic flirtations. Yes, it sounds strange, but in my own little world... I rule! To my goddaughter, I am a fairy godmother. To my mother, I am a shameful waste of potential and a constant disappointment. To my co-workers, I am an unpredictable blend of irritated snob and dancing queen. And to my friends, well, I am just plan fun to watch. (More fun with tequila!) One of my friends consistently gives me the best compliments ever... I am breathtaking! And if men came equipped with her eyes, I'd never long for a date. To most of my ex-boyfriends, fuck buddies, and friends with benefits, I am orally gifted, emotionally damaged, and brutally honest. But no matter what, if they need me, I will usually have their back. Because even though I may talk shit about them, no other chick is allowed to!
So this post goes out to my future life partner. I won't say husband, because I honestly don't think I will ever get married. I'll be like Goldie Hawn, Susan Sarandon... my mother! My mom has been with the same man for 20 years, and she has no intention of marrying him. But back to the subject at hand.
To my future life partner:
I am many things to many people. And during various stages of our life together you may have to deal with both the positive and negative aspects of my personality and my relationships with my adopted family.
I have a sister and a brother and none of us are biologically related. But they are my family and I will always be there for them, good or bad.
Yes, I have an evil streak that would make Satan proud. But it's never for a prolonged period of time. My love always wins out over the meanness.
If I get angry and immediately vent, curse, throw things, then storm out of the room/house, chances are that I will calm down in an hour or so and become the rational human being you fell in love with. I'm just a little high strung at times.
My passionate nature is both an asset and a curse. But if I am icy, cold or flat out refuse to talk, it will take longer for me to get past whatever is going on.
Winters are bad.
Spring is wonderful.
You go down, I go down, we all go down, and it’s fun.
My goddaughters ARE my babies. I don't care who gave birth to them.
Chocolate makes everything more bearable!
When in doubt, call a friend, they will give you a lifeline and help you out of the madhouse that is my mind!
Yes I am a HUGE flirt. But I am a loyal person. I do not cheat on my man.
If you are good to me and recognize me as the goddess I am and appreciate me, no one will ever love you as well as I will.
Do what you say you will do and no one gets hurt :)
Only wake me up when it is absolutely necessary.
And lastly... Just remember, I can be your biggest cheerleader or worst nightmare, it all depends on you.
This concludes my warning.
So this post goes out to my future life partner. I won't say husband, because I honestly don't think I will ever get married. I'll be like Goldie Hawn, Susan Sarandon... my mother! My mom has been with the same man for 20 years, and she has no intention of marrying him. But back to the subject at hand.
To my future life partner:
I am many things to many people. And during various stages of our life together you may have to deal with both the positive and negative aspects of my personality and my relationships with my adopted family.
I have a sister and a brother and none of us are biologically related. But they are my family and I will always be there for them, good or bad.
Yes, I have an evil streak that would make Satan proud. But it's never for a prolonged period of time. My love always wins out over the meanness.
If I get angry and immediately vent, curse, throw things, then storm out of the room/house, chances are that I will calm down in an hour or so and become the rational human being you fell in love with. I'm just a little high strung at times.
My passionate nature is both an asset and a curse. But if I am icy, cold or flat out refuse to talk, it will take longer for me to get past whatever is going on.
Winters are bad.
Spring is wonderful.
You go down, I go down, we all go down, and it’s fun.
My goddaughters ARE my babies. I don't care who gave birth to them.
Chocolate makes everything more bearable!
When in doubt, call a friend, they will give you a lifeline and help you out of the madhouse that is my mind!
Yes I am a HUGE flirt. But I am a loyal person. I do not cheat on my man.
If you are good to me and recognize me as the goddess I am and appreciate me, no one will ever love you as well as I will.
Do what you say you will do and no one gets hurt :)
Only wake me up when it is absolutely necessary.
And lastly... Just remember, I can be your biggest cheerleader or worst nightmare, it all depends on you.
This concludes my warning.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
A Letter To My Homie On Lockdown!
As some of you may know, I know a couple of folks on lockdown. Well one of them (on Work Release) sometimes gets to read my sad little blog and catch up on the craziness that is me. Being that I could not visit her last week and will also be detained this week, I have decided to post something just for her. However, if you would like to read and comment on it, that is just fine.
Hey Chick!
Ok, so since my visit this week has been rejected due to family strife and last week was due to lack of blackness :), I've decided to come to the library and email you.
You know I need to fill you in on things as they happen.
1. I just don't know how to feel about the whole HB thing anymore. I can't believe I've become the chick that I think is pathetic. And this is how it happened last year. I get fed up, end it, then he calls, we start talking again under the guise of friendship, then we start fucking because we think we can handle it. Then one/ both of us starts to get attached, then all the issues we have come back and one or both of us go crazy (usually me), I stalk, cry and sent hate mail, get fed up and the vicious cycle starts all over again. I cannot go through life with this man like this.
Part of me just wants to tell him that I am fucking someone else so he doesn't want me anymore. But we both know what a shitty liar I am and the thought of fucking someone new is freaking me out a little. The other part of me says that if I do that, I'll just prove him right that women cheat (he's paranoid b/c of past experiences). But I don't think it's fair to judge me on past hoes, and it wouldn’t even be cheating b/c we are not together! I have tried not to compare him (except in sex) to anyone else. Mostly b/c there is no one I could possibly compare him to (maybe NYM, but that's it). I had finally come to a point in my life when I was open to being in a committed relationship without breaking out in hives at the thought that I could lose some of my well cherished freedom. Then he comes along with more damn issues than I have and makes me love his wacky ass!! WHAT THE FUCK!
I miss him, it's true. And I would love to fuck him again, but at what expense? My self worth, esteem, sanity?
2. Mr. Cute = emotional security. Not in the way that he makes me feel more secure, but in the way that I know that I don't have to worry about what emotions he may feel for me b/c he's married and I am in no way trying to take him from his wife. He already knows this is a sex thing and nothing more. I want to borrow him, not keep his ass! I don't think it would be fair for me to get involved with someone who may want to have a relationship with me right now when my heart is with someone else and I am not sure if I can let him go forever or not. That's not fair to them or me. That's why Bry was a negative. Bry wanted to be my boyfriend and I couldn't handle that. He's a relationship type and I'm just looking for something to tide me over and keep me from going crazy over HB. That's why I may be breaking my married man rule for Mr. Cute.
3. Madison and I had a great time last night. She loved the movie and afterwards we had ice cream from McD's then stopped at Wal-Mart where I bought her a lip gloss she wanted. You should see her with her cornrows in the backseat bouncing and singing along: Lean with it, rock with it...Oh my goodness that was too much for me! I’m a little upset that she is listening to the trash on the radio that they like to refer to as hip hop. I may have to kidnap her, keep her in a room for 48 hours listening to nothing but Rakim, Big Daddy Kane, Tribe, Public Enemy and Queen Latifah’s first album. You know I’ll throw in Jay-Z, Busta, Biggie and Pac too; otherwise she wouldn’t be you & Ant’s child! But I that plan will have to be done when I stop working so damn much! Long Live Hip Hop!
4. I told them to take me off the schedule next month at WBs. I want to see if I can handle quitting for sure before I do it. I haven’t heard back from Chris, so I don’t know about the whole 5th job thing. But it will feel good for me to get sleep 2 nights in a row. The Jamaican is getting lazy for the summer.
So what’s up with you? Congrats on the raise you got. I want a raise too! Hopefully I can come see you next week… if I’m not under some man. I really wanted to bring HB with me to meet you, but I can never find him on Sundays, that motherfucker is truly “incognegro”! I know you want to meet him. It took Barb a damn year to run into his ass... and I wasn't even there! Oh well.
Well, gotta run. Hiho, hiho it's off to work I go. To sleep with men that I don't know Hi ho, hi ho hi ho hi ho! Just kidding. I need a margarita! I'll be sure to have one for you too!
Peace, Love and Music!
Diva
PS... Mads knows my real name now. Ask her and she if she'll tell you! I told her that she has to call me Dia forever though because I like that she gave me a name just for her.
Love ya!
Hey Chick!
Ok, so since my visit this week has been rejected due to family strife and last week was due to lack of blackness :), I've decided to come to the library and email you.
You know I need to fill you in on things as they happen.
1. I just don't know how to feel about the whole HB thing anymore. I can't believe I've become the chick that I think is pathetic. And this is how it happened last year. I get fed up, end it, then he calls, we start talking again under the guise of friendship, then we start fucking because we think we can handle it. Then one/ both of us starts to get attached, then all the issues we have come back and one or both of us go crazy (usually me), I stalk, cry and sent hate mail, get fed up and the vicious cycle starts all over again. I cannot go through life with this man like this.
Part of me just wants to tell him that I am fucking someone else so he doesn't want me anymore. But we both know what a shitty liar I am and the thought of fucking someone new is freaking me out a little. The other part of me says that if I do that, I'll just prove him right that women cheat (he's paranoid b/c of past experiences). But I don't think it's fair to judge me on past hoes, and it wouldn’t even be cheating b/c we are not together! I have tried not to compare him (except in sex) to anyone else. Mostly b/c there is no one I could possibly compare him to (maybe NYM, but that's it). I had finally come to a point in my life when I was open to being in a committed relationship without breaking out in hives at the thought that I could lose some of my well cherished freedom. Then he comes along with more damn issues than I have and makes me love his wacky ass!! WHAT THE FUCK!
I miss him, it's true. And I would love to fuck him again, but at what expense? My self worth, esteem, sanity?
2. Mr. Cute = emotional security. Not in the way that he makes me feel more secure, but in the way that I know that I don't have to worry about what emotions he may feel for me b/c he's married and I am in no way trying to take him from his wife. He already knows this is a sex thing and nothing more. I want to borrow him, not keep his ass! I don't think it would be fair for me to get involved with someone who may want to have a relationship with me right now when my heart is with someone else and I am not sure if I can let him go forever or not. That's not fair to them or me. That's why Bry was a negative. Bry wanted to be my boyfriend and I couldn't handle that. He's a relationship type and I'm just looking for something to tide me over and keep me from going crazy over HB. That's why I may be breaking my married man rule for Mr. Cute.
3. Madison and I had a great time last night. She loved the movie and afterwards we had ice cream from McD's then stopped at Wal-Mart where I bought her a lip gloss she wanted. You should see her with her cornrows in the backseat bouncing and singing along: Lean with it, rock with it...Oh my goodness that was too much for me! I’m a little upset that she is listening to the trash on the radio that they like to refer to as hip hop. I may have to kidnap her, keep her in a room for 48 hours listening to nothing but Rakim, Big Daddy Kane, Tribe, Public Enemy and Queen Latifah’s first album. You know I’ll throw in Jay-Z, Busta, Biggie and Pac too; otherwise she wouldn’t be you & Ant’s child! But I that plan will have to be done when I stop working so damn much! Long Live Hip Hop!
4. I told them to take me off the schedule next month at WBs. I want to see if I can handle quitting for sure before I do it. I haven’t heard back from Chris, so I don’t know about the whole 5th job thing. But it will feel good for me to get sleep 2 nights in a row. The Jamaican is getting lazy for the summer.
So what’s up with you? Congrats on the raise you got. I want a raise too! Hopefully I can come see you next week… if I’m not under some man. I really wanted to bring HB with me to meet you, but I can never find him on Sundays, that motherfucker is truly “incognegro”! I know you want to meet him. It took Barb a damn year to run into his ass... and I wasn't even there! Oh well.
Well, gotta run. Hiho, hiho it's off to work I go. To sleep with men that I don't know Hi ho, hi ho hi ho hi ho! Just kidding. I need a margarita! I'll be sure to have one for you too!
Peace, Love and Music!
Diva
PS... Mads knows my real name now. Ask her and she if she'll tell you! I told her that she has to call me Dia forever though because I like that she gave me a name just for her.
Love ya!
Thursday, July 06, 2006
MMM Krispy Kreme
You know how I love to keep the lists going.
TOP 10 WAYS TO MOVE ON FROM A FAILED LOVE AFFAIR
1. Work overtime. If you are working more than usual, that's less time that you spend obsessing about what he is doing.
2. Go to the gym. Ever try to cry uncontrollably while on an 8.5 incline?
3. Fuck someone new. Ok, this may not be healthy, and I haven't tried it yet, but it's on my list so I should give it a shot right?
4. Get reacquainted with old loves. Ben & Jerry, boy have I missed you guys! Let's go visit Krispy Kreme and see how everyone is doing. Anyone seen Sara lee lately?
5. Write until your fingers ache. Then you won't be able to obsessively dial their number then hang up when you realize it's a bad idea to call!
6. Hang out with your boys. Jose, Jack, Mr. Bacardi, Capt. Morgan. Those guys really know how to party.
7. Catch up on some good television. Lifetime anyone?
8. Learn a new skill. No officer, I'm not stalking. I'm taking a PI class and I had some surveillance homework I needed to finish.
9. Get a makeover. That undone hair and ratty t-shirt may just start a new trend. No time for make-up, no problem. Less is more!
10. Blog your every obsessive thought about the situation. It's working... right?
I swear folks; I'll get over this soon.
TOP 10 WAYS TO MOVE ON FROM A FAILED LOVE AFFAIR
1. Work overtime. If you are working more than usual, that's less time that you spend obsessing about what he is doing.
2. Go to the gym. Ever try to cry uncontrollably while on an 8.5 incline?
3. Fuck someone new. Ok, this may not be healthy, and I haven't tried it yet, but it's on my list so I should give it a shot right?
4. Get reacquainted with old loves. Ben & Jerry, boy have I missed you guys! Let's go visit Krispy Kreme and see how everyone is doing. Anyone seen Sara lee lately?
5. Write until your fingers ache. Then you won't be able to obsessively dial their number then hang up when you realize it's a bad idea to call!
6. Hang out with your boys. Jose, Jack, Mr. Bacardi, Capt. Morgan. Those guys really know how to party.
7. Catch up on some good television. Lifetime anyone?
8. Learn a new skill. No officer, I'm not stalking. I'm taking a PI class and I had some surveillance homework I needed to finish.
9. Get a makeover. That undone hair and ratty t-shirt may just start a new trend. No time for make-up, no problem. Less is more!
10. Blog your every obsessive thought about the situation. It's working... right?
I swear folks; I'll get over this soon.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
OH DAMN
Well I'm back from my travels and am better able to converse with real people now. Now, when I say "travels", what I really mean is I work 4 jobs (yes 4, like a crazy Jamaican should!) and I've been trying to get in touch with my inner self. Ya know, the one that is capable of thinking of others and not just herself. The one who truly believes that one day all of her intimacy issues will magically disappear... the one who really thinks society bullshit is the way to exist in a peaceful world. Yeah, me. Ok, really... why is it that people think I should get married?
Anyhow~ How have you all been… All 3 of you that read my sad little sporadic blog? You may notice that I got a little emotional in my previous post. Well let me explain. For the last few months I have put this hard ass image out there for the entire world to see. Saving my true feelings for my journal and my sister. I realized that sometimes I am hard to read and other times my face tells the whole damn world what my problem is. Well, everyone who has seen me knows that I have been having some really good sex. But what I was hiding was that I was becoming more and more attached to a man that is "emotionally unavailable". Knowing that I have been down this road before and have taken everyone with me, I tried (in vain) to hide the course I was on.
I know that there is a definite risk in adding sex to a friendship that is already a little off balance, but I just couldn't help myself. So off I went on this ridiculous notion that I could relive my younger days and have unlimited sex with no messy emotions to get in the way. Silly me. What the fuck was I thinking?
Now I am heartbroken and disturbed that I fooled myself and him into thinking that things could go on like this indefinitely. Basically I lied. Not only to him but to myself as well. And as many folks can tell you, I'm a shitty liar!
So I must now force myself not to call the man I so desperately want to be with in order to regain a morsel of my sanity.
Crazy huh?
Ahh the life of a single woman with commitment issues :)
Better luck next time huh?
APOLOGY SECTION:
1. I am apologizing to the man in topic because this is an unfair forum for me to vent in. And because he saw none of this coming. I tried to have this very important conversation with him, but he is consistently incognegro! So this was the only way I could vent and make myself clear without being interrupted or led astray by gazing into his deep brown eyes. This is kind of an asshole-like move though. For that I am truly sorry. My intention was never to hurt him... which truthfully he could probably care less if I'm gone or not. But I just had to make that clear.
2. I am sorry to my dear friends that tried to warn me in the beginning that this was all a bad idea. And I'm sorry for dragging you all on this emotional train wreck with me. But I love you all for riding shotgun anyway.
3. I am sorry to the next man that I will inevitably damage with the huge wall that will most likely be erected around the tiny pieces of heart that I have left. (Ha ha... I wrote erected).
Anyhow~ How have you all been… All 3 of you that read my sad little sporadic blog? You may notice that I got a little emotional in my previous post. Well let me explain. For the last few months I have put this hard ass image out there for the entire world to see. Saving my true feelings for my journal and my sister. I realized that sometimes I am hard to read and other times my face tells the whole damn world what my problem is. Well, everyone who has seen me knows that I have been having some really good sex. But what I was hiding was that I was becoming more and more attached to a man that is "emotionally unavailable". Knowing that I have been down this road before and have taken everyone with me, I tried (in vain) to hide the course I was on.
I know that there is a definite risk in adding sex to a friendship that is already a little off balance, but I just couldn't help myself. So off I went on this ridiculous notion that I could relive my younger days and have unlimited sex with no messy emotions to get in the way. Silly me. What the fuck was I thinking?
Now I am heartbroken and disturbed that I fooled myself and him into thinking that things could go on like this indefinitely. Basically I lied. Not only to him but to myself as well. And as many folks can tell you, I'm a shitty liar!
So I must now force myself not to call the man I so desperately want to be with in order to regain a morsel of my sanity.
Crazy huh?
Ahh the life of a single woman with commitment issues :)
Better luck next time huh?
APOLOGY SECTION:
1. I am apologizing to the man in topic because this is an unfair forum for me to vent in. And because he saw none of this coming. I tried to have this very important conversation with him, but he is consistently incognegro! So this was the only way I could vent and make myself clear without being interrupted or led astray by gazing into his deep brown eyes. This is kind of an asshole-like move though. For that I am truly sorry. My intention was never to hurt him... which truthfully he could probably care less if I'm gone or not. But I just had to make that clear.
2. I am sorry to my dear friends that tried to warn me in the beginning that this was all a bad idea. And I'm sorry for dragging you all on this emotional train wreck with me. But I love you all for riding shotgun anyway.
3. I am sorry to the next man that I will inevitably damage with the huge wall that will most likely be erected around the tiny pieces of heart that I have left. (Ha ha... I wrote erected).
When Enough Is Enough
I have decided to end a sexual relationship I am having because I have run out of patience.
See, I have a "friend" that I used to be interested in having a romantic relationship with. As a matter of fact, when we first met, we had many conversations about how wonderful we would be together. We share similar taste in music, movies and political views. We have great converstions and our sex life has become very satisfying. VERY. You may be asking what the problem is then.
Well, I have known him for a year (13 months + 1 day to be exact but who's counting) and a few things consistantly disturb me about him.
1. We have never had sex in a bed.
2. I have never seen the upstairs of his house. (What's he hiding?)
3. Everytime we have made plans to do something together (except for sex) he has stood me up or pulled a hoodini-style disappearing act for days on end.
4. He likes talking about marrying me, but can't seem to talk about dating me.
5. He NEVER does what he says he is going to do. (i.e. "I'll call you tomorrow" Tomorrow= 8-10 days later).
It's all very frustrating and I'm over getting my hopes up over nothing. He says one thing and conveys something altogether different. I have come to realize who and what he really is and it is very disappointing. I like him as a person. He is one of the coolest people that I have ever met and that's what makes all of this difficult. I understand his picky and analytical Virgo ways, but there is a fine line between picky and ridiculous.
I thought I could just maintain a sexual friendship with him, but I was deluding myself and lying to him.
The bottom line is this:
I know what I want and what I am willing to tolerate. I know what I am capable of and what I'm not. He is unable or just unwilling to give me what I need and want out of a relationship, and I am getting too damn old to wait around to see if he can figure it out. So despite my love and adoration of this man, I have to say good bye to him.
My hope is that one day we will find happiness in our relationships with other people and then we can maintain a friendship without the possibility of sex.
Hope springs eternal!
See, I have a "friend" that I used to be interested in having a romantic relationship with. As a matter of fact, when we first met, we had many conversations about how wonderful we would be together. We share similar taste in music, movies and political views. We have great converstions and our sex life has become very satisfying. VERY. You may be asking what the problem is then.
Well, I have known him for a year (13 months + 1 day to be exact but who's counting) and a few things consistantly disturb me about him.
1. We have never had sex in a bed.
2. I have never seen the upstairs of his house. (What's he hiding?)
3. Everytime we have made plans to do something together (except for sex) he has stood me up or pulled a hoodini-style disappearing act for days on end.
4. He likes talking about marrying me, but can't seem to talk about dating me.
5. He NEVER does what he says he is going to do. (i.e. "I'll call you tomorrow" Tomorrow= 8-10 days later).
It's all very frustrating and I'm over getting my hopes up over nothing. He says one thing and conveys something altogether different. I have come to realize who and what he really is and it is very disappointing. I like him as a person. He is one of the coolest people that I have ever met and that's what makes all of this difficult. I understand his picky and analytical Virgo ways, but there is a fine line between picky and ridiculous.
I thought I could just maintain a sexual friendship with him, but I was deluding myself and lying to him.
The bottom line is this:
I know what I want and what I am willing to tolerate. I know what I am capable of and what I'm not. He is unable or just unwilling to give me what I need and want out of a relationship, and I am getting too damn old to wait around to see if he can figure it out. So despite my love and adoration of this man, I have to say good bye to him.
My hope is that one day we will find happiness in our relationships with other people and then we can maintain a friendship without the possibility of sex.
Hope springs eternal!
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