The Baking Bitch!

Sorry for the domestic post guys… I’ll get back to the sexy stuff next week!

I, CaffeineDiva, am a Baking Bitch. I didn't give myself the title, but for now, I am claiming it. Let me explain. A few years ago I worked with a very cool guy who I became friends with and we use to joke around that if he ever came into a lot of money he was going to open a clothing store for big guys called "250+" and right next door he would open a bakery for me called the "The Baking Bitch" because, as he put it, "That bitch can bake! Seriously, that is one bakin’bitch!"

Well, years later I have a new group of friends that come to expect baked goods for birthdays or holiday festivities. Usually I don’t mind being Aunt Jemima for a day or two, but I have now realized that people are never satisfied.

This became apparent last week. See my brother came home after a long time away. (You know… “Away”). And before he came home he requested my “famous” Chocolate Rum Cake that I usually make once a year around the Christmas holiday. But since he was gone for Christmas (and his birthday), I was more than happy to oblige him.
I had been on a baking hiatus of sorts due to my lack of will power & trying to live a more healthy life. My Dr. informed me that my baking practices and diabetes weren’t a good combination, so I retired my trusty baking utensils and set off on a bake-less year. Now my brother is home and in the past week, I have made 2 cakes and 2 pans of baked macaroni & cheese. You may be thinking, what’s the problem? Well here is where I start my famous venting.

I now have random folks (in and out of the family) putting in requests for baked delights. Seriously, folks that I have only met once or twice are asking for all kinds of stuff! A friend of his remembers some cookies that I made 2 years ago, and wants me to make them again. Come on, it’s been 2 years, get over it! It’s not like he hasn’t had my number the whole time my brother has been away and couldn’t have called and asked then. He may have had a better chance of me saying yes… not this year, but last year I would have.
Then, some chick that I just met last week (once) asked for 2 different cakes, one for her and one for her “baby”. How ‘bout this, I’ll give you the recipe and you bake a cake for your man! What’s next, am I gonna have to fuck your man for you too! When I bake for people it’s a loving thing, so I have to care for them. Hell, the cookie request is for something I actually call Love Cookies! So they don’t get made for just anyone! The last request was to remake one of the cakes I had made that week. The problem with that is that the cake that I made was an accident that came out tasty. I can’t repeat that shit!

So here’s my solution. I'll just start giving out recipes and various baking secrets to anyone who asks. It’s not like I’m opening a business! I can only bake when the mood strikes me.
Frankly, if my man came home raving about some chick that could bake me out of house and home, I’d be a little upset. This means he would be fat trying everything I could make until he raved about me again! But that’s just my competitive need to win and be the best chick ever!