Where's My Present?

I've been entertaining an idea off and on for the past 15 years that everyone (with the exception of one person) has thought was crazy or something I was kidding about... Marrying myself.
I know this may sound a bit drastic, but think about it from a financial point of view.

If you are single for any significant amount of time (ie. 30 + years old and NEVER been married) you have been subjected to all types of cruel, but not so unusual punishment. Your friends get married, you have to buy them a gift. And not just any gift... No, they have made it "easy" on you by registering at their favorite store and picking out what gifts they would like to receive. Same thing goes when they decide to have children. All of a sudden they need more gifts for the crumb snatcher that is about to enter the world! If they married well, they have a 2 income household... Budget, and buy your own stuff dammit. I am a single woman, working 2 jobs, I can't afford to buy presents for every loved one in my life that decides to have a lifestyle makeover. So where is my present?

I've been the babysitter for "date night" so folks can keep the spark in the relationship. I've cooked and baked for showers and surprise parties. I've been supportive of both straight and gay friends getting married and having children. Why is it that I have to wait until "Mr. Right" comes along to register at my favorite stores for the gifts that I want folks to buy me? Why is it that my friends don't throw a party for me celebrating my single life? What up with that? Well, I got tired of the bullshit and came up with the idea of my "Single Rededication Ceremony". Granted, it wasn't all because of the presents. After years of failed relationships, flimsy marriage proposals and the commitment issues that I have... I decided years ago that I would never get married. I came to terms with the idea, and have been good with it for a while now. However, like most other girls, I used to fantasize about the pretty dress, ring, and the great party after the ceremony where everyone is celebrating, well,... Me! I just never really got a clear picture of the groom.

Now I've heard all kinds of crap from people who have caught wind of my plans. They throw in birthdays; well everyone has a birthday. The same can be said for Christmas, Hanukkah, and every other holiday celebrated by the masses. Sure we all get presents for that.

But where is the party for the person who has decided to stay single? Every other life choice is congratulated and celebrated. Let's start congratulating those special people in our lives that chose not to add to the growing population of the world!

THE PROPOSAL: All of us single people (who intend or think they might be single forever and have made peace with it) need to unite and show that we too deserve a big party and presents. June is the big marriage month; let's make August "National Singles Appreciation Month". Ok, we can start out with one day... kinda like Mother's Day. I figured August would be a good month... No major holidays close, schools out, good vacation month. We start registering for gifts and telling our friends where to shop. And then we throw a big party and open our gifts in front of all our loved ones. I think it could work.

Come on single people! Chant with me... WHERE'S MY GIFT? WHERE'S MY GIFT?

Hey a girl can dream can't she?