The World According to Diva

Did you miss me? Probably not, no one reads the mindless rants that ooze from my twisted brain. But that's ok, because the month of April is all about me. So here are some ways to keep that in mind. In every conversation that happens in the month of April, be sure to talk about my birthday. It doesn't matter what the conversation is about, as long as I am mentioned. Here are a few examples.

1. "Damn, I need to get my taxes done." "Well you only have until 2 days after Diva's birthday, so you better get to it!"
2. Let's stop for coffee on the way to work. Ok, do you think Diva would like a Starbuck's gift card for her birthday?
3. Did you see that accident on the highway this morning? Yeah, it's a good thing that it didn't happen on Diva's Birthday!
4. Hey, what are you doing this weekend? Celebrating Diva's birthday.
5. Did you see the news last night? Yeah, it was terrible. The whole hour passed without them mentioning Diva's Birthday! What's the world coming to?!
6. I have to go to a wedding next week. At least you know it's not Diva's!
7. Oh my god, I saw the cutest chick yesterday... Was it Diva?
8. Have you heard Busta's remix to "Touch It"? Yeah, Diva told me about it.
9. Damn, I just don't feel like getting out of bed, work sucks. But how is that attitude serving Diva today.
10. Easter is Sunday, are you going to church? I'll try, but I might be too hungover from margaritas with Diva!

I think you get the point!
April 13th... The day of Diva! Go forth and celebrate!